Who are your people?

For the longest time, I've thought, "I don't really need to make friends. I have three built in friends."


I have three sisters, all of whom I love. One of which I don't know what I'd do without.


I've never been much for making friends. I'll do it, but usually, only if its seamless (like making a work friend, or running into the same parent over and over cause you live right by them and your kids are the same age, haha). Like a lot of adults, probably, I have a hard time approaching people with friendship. I don't want to be needy. I don't want to bother someone. I don't want to jump into an already existing friend circle and feel uncomfortable, until I slowly decide to back away unnoticed. It is what it is.


We don't really have a community of women/people to support us in our parenting journeys anymore. There are groups, like on Facebook, but that's not the same as seeing the same people everyday, or at least frequently, and supporting each other. To me, at least, its not. People seem to come and go, or life gets in the way, or you find out that maybe your parenting style doesn't mesh well with someone else, and you abandon that could-have-been friendship. This is where my sister comes in.

My oldest sister and I. Clearly, we were little.

We are both, for the most part, stay at home moms. Though I'm a doula, I spend most, if not all, of my days at home with my kids. Births being the exception. Its lonely being at home; talking to my kids who only wanna talk about Transformers or monsters, cats and wardrobe changes. Yammering things at me I don't understand because speech is still new. They repeat themselves, have ever changing emotions that change at any moment, and do their own thing. So, for sanity reasons, I call my sister, who is states away.


Most of our phone calls are each of us talking to our own kids, some silences as we both fold laundry or wash dishes or make lunches. We rehash things day after day, which to some is repetitive, but to us is just following up on a topic we want to revisit. They aren't always riveting conversations, but we call each other just to be that support. To let each other know that we are here, and that someone is listening. To bounce ideas off of, to celebrate victories with, to err our grievances with the world to. To glimpse into each others lives, and know about each other with a genuine love and curiosity that only brings us closer together.


She is my person. She is my small tribe. And without her, I'd be lost.


So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope you have a person. Or can build up a group of like minded people who are able to support you, and you them. To see them frequently. To be in a relationship with a friend that is give and take, equal and loving, supporting and helpful.


We all deserve this, because, parenting is hard. And you cant. Do it. Alone.

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Marissa Peterson
Bellingham, WA
253.334.7282